Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts

Friday, 18 May 2012

My Meaning of Life.




We've all pondered it, we're all seeking the answers. This will be probably be a long entry to the point of a mini essay... lol. It probably won't make a whole lot of sense, but I'll try. :p

I get moments in my life where I stop and think... why am I the one controlling this body, why am I living this persons life till the end, what does it all mean?  I am controlling my thoughts and actions and writing this, you whoever is reading this, is controlling that body and is reading this blog. Have you ever had that sense of out of body perspective. I get the same feeling sometimes when I stop and look at people when I travel to and from work and wonder the many lives being controlled, all in their own world, trying to survive and getting through life.

The earliest enlightened moment of this was when I was probably around 5/6 years old. I was sitting on the floor with all the other children and listening to our teacher tell a story. I remember this because I was thinking about my situation that I'm just sitting here listening to this person talking and i was just thinking just how and why? It was a short moment of pondering, I was young and I didn't really know what I was thinking/seeing at the time so it passed and I carried on with my life. Yet I still remember that feeling, that first moment.

So the ultimate question... how was life created and the reason as to why we're all here? How are there so many living creatures all individually controlled, located in this one place called Earth?

I know through what I've learnt that I was created through a biological miracle via my father and mother. And yet at some point in that process, the growth and control of this body suddenly happened. There was a point where suddenly I became self aware. Is there such a thing as a soul? Was there an all mighty power who decides and creates souls inside new born babies? Animals, plants, Humans, all things living? The use of these bodies as a vessal before moving on to a greater meaning? Or simply our brain growing more developed, and we're a bunch of chemicals allowing intelligent thought processes? I believe we are so insignificant and significant at the same time.

I believe I am significant because I'm controlling this body, and it is in my interest to survive and make something happen through this male human life. It's all I can do, so it's very significant to me. We are all selfish to a degree for survival. Yet still I believe I'm insignificant, because I'm actually not even a tiny speck in the giant multiverse that we live in. When I look in to space I realised that we are nothing compared to the infinite space that is out there.

Arthur C. Clarke provides a great quote: 'Two possibilities exist: Either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.' And he is right! Which is more terrifying to you?

To me it would be more frightening that we are alone, because if this is all the life that is left, then we must cherish it and continue fighting for life and survival against all the odds. I would love to know that we are not alone, because it could provide more questions but also answers than regardless how dangerous it could possibly be.

We have sought to religion and science to find an answer, and yet both may or may not be the answer. At least either can provide some meaning to your life. Religions have been around the longest and arguably can provide the most meaning as upposed to science who are still seeking an answer. Neither is right or wrong, but in my opinion the best advice I can give to anyone is, to be able to admit that there is a possibility that whatever you believe in could be wrong. What I love about Scientists,  are that they are always trying to prove each other wrong. All established theories we know and love today, are still trying to be proved wrong. We have whittled down to a few theories that are acceptable, yet it's still not absolute correct. This is what differs to me between science and religion. For human progression and evolution, we need to continue to be seeking answers, rather than stopping and believing in something written in an old book to be absolute correct.

There could be many future breakthroughs in discoveries and yet people still cling on to a belief that they may have been born into. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to offend religion. I believe a religion can provide a decent way of life. It gives people's lives absolute meaning, who wouldn't want that. If everyone conformed to one outlook, a set of rules to live our lives, the better we all can be in getting along and living with one another. The problem is unfortunately that there are too many different of opinions and certain individuals have taken certain religions to extreme levels for individual gain.



Satirical books by Terry Pratchett known for his fantasy Discworld novels, provides a different perspective on life and death, often with humour. When someone dies in his novels, Death comes along with his scythe and cuts the cord that keeps the soul and the body together. The character that has just died often remarks on 'what happens now?'. Death's response in nonplussed, then what actually happens next, is that whatever the character believes in will happen.

For example, warriors who believed when they die in a battlefield in honour, they would be taken away to their heaven on horseback by big bussomed ladies, which is exactly what happens to them. Others who believe they will reincarnate, will do just that. Those who believe in simply vanishing and not existing anymore, that's what happens to them. Of course the uniform belief that an all powerful Death takes you away is not the point, but the belief of what happens to you after death is interesting.

This is so meaningful for anyone, because in life we can never prove or know what will happen after death, but if you provide meaning in death, before you die, you can provide meaning in life as well. Especially at the moment of death, you try to take comfort and seek solace by providing your life meaning. When struck with grief from a death of a loved on, certain beliefs can provide us peace of mind. 'They have moved on to a better place'. Therefore whatever we believe in is our choice.

Those terrorist bombers who believe in their heaven with so many virgins, is considered insane and mad to us, but it's right to them. It's a matter of choice and perspective, how we consider what are lives mean and in death.

We can still question our choices, question our faith. A lot of things happen in our lives that is out of our control and we blame it on something, we question faith, luck, high power, fate. This is another factor that is impossible to prove and answer for. The world is chaotic, full of timings, chance, probability, a constant clash of atoms and chemicals. We sometimes create an illusion that something else is part of our lives, something greater, something more important, a higher power controlling the uncontrollable. It could be wishful thinking, or it could in fact be a reality no-one knows. What we do know if what is in front of us, what is in front of me.

The whole situation and circumstance that we are all living in this small world together is mind boggling and I do not have an answer as to how and why. I may never fully understand it all in my life time. However I will continue to ask questions and will make my own judgements and find different perspectives before I make that choice. 

Phew.....I could go into much more depth and detail into the points I made, but I'm not going to write a book. There's so much out there. All I can do is to live this life to the best that I'm capable of. And everyone should live their lives to the best that they're capable of. Seek the things you like, seek the things that make you happy, create the answers yourself. For all we know there is only one life, we might as well try and enjoy it.

Tuesday, 10 August 2010

Happy Go Lucky


So much for trying to keep a regular blog. I have a lot of crap in my mind, I should have multiple entries. Yet another one of my character flaws of not continuing what I started, also that fact that I'm freaking lazy.

I will probably write some more later, but for now a few things to update and ponder, mainly girls this time round.

I went to a friends birthday on Saturday, it was the usual gathering of people with some new faces. Now I have never really spoken to my friend's sister, we acknowledge each other like say hi but never sat down properly and have a chat.
There are reasons for this as I'll explain later. So it was the first time I spoke to her and we seemed to get along well, there was I thought a connection. At least I felt like she was giving me signals, however, I now believe I thought wrong.

Anyway yesterday I actually asked her out, but she said she wasn't looking for a relationship. I replied back that I'm very casual, not really looking just wanted to get to know her a bit better. So we are now exchanging emails and finding out how similar we actually are. For instance, we both very much go with the flow type of person. This in terms of finding relationships can be a problem with both of us. At least I never really go out of my way to look for relationships, if something comes along then so be it. She's much like that. However, I would never pass an opportunity if I didn't see one, if something could be developed, which is why I'd ask them out. I'm quite a tranditionalist, in the sense that the man has to take the 1st step, pay for the meal on the date etc. It helps though if the girl can gives us some hints tho.

In this case, it was playful mild flirting, but she does not actually want any of the attachments. In a sense she is more of a bloke than me. lol I totally get where she is coming from, being in a relationship, can hold you down, be a hassle, having to please the opposite partner and you can not do whatver you want. I can see us being friends, as I can tell she is a very independant woman. If we were together, I don't think it'd be called a relationship. I mean from what my impression is, we'll end up doing our own thing, then occasionally meet up and have sex... actually that sounds brilliantly maybe I'll jokingly suggest that. lol.

Another thing is she doesn't like chinese boys, simply becuase I believe her parents wants her to get with one. It's again being forced, so her reason is that she'll be single instead. Well good for her, I'm not the one to argue. I mean Chinese people are quite incestuous! We swap and change relationships in the same large circle like anything, if you see another chinese person, it's very likely they'd know someone you know, it's like only 2 or 3 degrees of seperation, which is really off putting. This was a case for another girl I got along with, but because she went out with one of my closer friends, even though it didn't go anywhere, I would not go there now.

Another girl who I'm sort of in contact with, which I suppose I see as a potential, but the problem there is she was having a hard time getting over her split from her now ex, when I actually asked her out. She recently tweeted that she is now over him, however I haven't really stayed in contact, so I'm not going to force a conversation again. I need her to make the move, if she has any interest. Maybe at some point I'll ask her how she is, but I'm not going to force anything. I'm funny like that.

Workwise, there has been talks of me moving to work in another department once my contract expires. Although this is not a permanent position, it still keeps me working till my holiday to HK in September. Then there is also a possible interview for a role at MWB Holdings on Monday. This is a permanent position and it covers all the experience I have done till now, so it is an easy fit, only problem would be progression. As I could be stuck doing that role for a good while, but it's permanent and it should be comfortable, I'll find out more if I get an interview.

That would mean leaving Rio Tinto, which I love and adore, through which I have met some great people. Plus I'd miss the free lunches, however I need a permanent position, so I can eventually get a mortgage and also develop my career more. As with everything I'll take each day as it comes.
I'm not sure if I should change my happy go lucky attitude, it sort of makes me what I am. Although I suppose I should take more control of my future and look further than just a day's ahead.